The Privilege of Making Mistakes: Self-Forgiveness and Letting Go of the Shoulds

Episode 153 • 13 mins 08 secs

She held two things dear: the privilege of making mistakes, and the right to be a “damn fool”.

This episode is a re-air of a conversation between host Elizabeth Mintun and her mother, Margy, who died in January of 2025. They set out to talk about compassionate accountability; how to live aligned with our values without turning that alignment into one more way to fall short. What Margy offers is something roomier. She describes the constriction of inherited shoulds, the moment she saw that her own parameters had shrunk her possibility of living fully, and the slow work of learning her mistakes could be pardoned. It's a short conversation, and a plainspoken one. It may be helpful for anyone carrying a should that was handed to them and would like to feel more grace and love towards themselves.

Key takeaways:

Shoulds are inherited, usually from people trying sincerely to give us direction - and it's adult work to ask of each one whether we actually embrace it.

Rigid parameters of right and wrong don't tend to protect a life; they often shrink it.

Mistakes aren't the failure of growth, they're the mechanism of it.

Self-forgiveness and forgiving others are the same capacity, practiced in two directions.

Resources

Free Guided Meditation: https://thecalmingground.com/free-guided-meditation

Questions or reflections from this episode? Email Elizabeth at [email protected]

Want to go deeper in your own practice? Learn more about 1:1 coaching with Elizabeth Mintun here

Find Elizabeth on Facebook & IG @thecalmingground

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